Thursday, July 26, 2012

"Modern" Gyms third world countries

I've got an interesting question for my readers:  how many times to you hear about something pathetically wrong often but never actually see it for yourself?  Then, when you see it, you're still shocked in spite of knowing it was like that all along?  I'm talking about that feeling you get when you hear that third world countries can be real shitholes that make you appreciate what you have but it never really sinks in until you're actually there to see and smell how bad it really sucks.   Wow, it really was true all along!  Learning about it doesn't replace the shock of actually seeing it, does it? 

On a much less serious level, I've had that kind of shock that I still can't get over when I step into the local fitness club to take my son for infant swimming lessons.  I've been to this place before and I know that they're all a sad excuse for a place to get fit.  Up until this point, it's been a long, long time.    I've spent far more of my time tearing through all kinds of weird BW variations, sandbag work, and truck pushing in countless sewer plants, parking lots, hotel rooms, truck stops, farmers fields and my own basement.  So, when I arrive to get my son accustomed to swimming, I pretty much feel like I've landed on Mars.

As I watch the people waddle around in clothing of various levels of... FUCKING-GROSS-TIGHT... It strikes me like a Halloween party.  It's a place where everyone shows up, dresses up like athletes, and play-pretends that they're getting in shape. 
Let's pretend we're punching!  What bullshit!  Punches need to be thrown with extreme violence, even if it's just at the air!

 This isn't a criticism of playing or using a little bit of imagination when training.  I think that the way lots of people train is boring as hell and could use a little creative thought.  Put that into how you get into shape, not into pretending that you're getting there. 

As I continue to try to breathe some artificial respiration into the oxygen-starved brain of the modern fitness industrial complex, I can't understand how so many shaved apes never notice how bad their overall posture sucks.  Considering that most of these places have enough mirrors to start a fun house, and that most of the people going to the gyms spend way too much time walking around naked, I'm struck that they never notice that their bodies are starting to look like the a weeping pine tree.

The people in the cycling classes seem to be the worst culprits, for obvious reasons.  The people who use the weight room aren't far behind. These people are easy to spot:  rounded shoulders, perfect pecs and abs, and skinny legs.  I might be dipping my toes in the dirty pond of broscience but I'm of the opinion that the mark of a good workout should result in you naturally standing and walking with good posture.  Too many people wreck their bodies by sitting slouched over.  That shouldn't be replicated in any place devoted to health. 

Why is it  ALWAYS the people you NEVER want to see naked in the gym the ones you end up seeing?

As my cranial pressure-release valve slowly begins to sputter rather than roar, I now realize that I'm probably telling everyone about things that they already know... and despise.  I appreciate you bearing with me.  If you're not one of those people then I urge you to take a really objective look around your McFitness make-believe health club.  These places have everything backwards.  Instead of doing body/soul-challenging,  interesting and inventive work that gets results, most everyone there is engaged in a bad fantasy world of doing unimaginative, brain-dead motion that doesn't do jack-shit towards moving anyone closer to great health, strength, or even a half-decent looking body.  You've smelled the stink of this pile of trash. 

It's time to move on. 

Monday, July 23, 2012

Supersetting Pyramids

Between bouncing around various welfare-ravaged shithole towns in New Hampshire, raising a child, keeping a wife happy, and desperately trying to make more money than I shell out in both work and life I've realized something: 

I haven't posted here in over two months. 

Thank you for hanging around.  As I've darted around the Northeast United States, I've managed to keep some semblance of training going.  Necessity of trying to put together something that satisfies my urge for intense muscle-grinding burn in a unique manner is still alive and well.  Recently, it manifested itself in a quick routine that worked so well that I thought I'd share it with the masses.

I love supersetting with the upper body.  I've made that clear in the past.  I've a few other ways to organize a workout in the past, including pyramids.  I didn't like those so much.  I know it's not right but I feel like excessive rest when training is procrastinating.  Then, it hit me:  why not combine supersetting with pyramids? 

So, here's my idea:  I picked an upper body push and an upper body pull exercise and do a superset, adding a rep to each new set until I got to the point where I couldn't add another rep of either the push or the pull.  Then, I just worked my way back down.  Since I didn't have much time to work out, I selected Diamond Handstand Push-ups and Thick-bar, Close-Grip Chin-ups, knowing that the rep count on these two wouldn't go very high. 

I managed to get to 8 reps before my triceps just couldn't grind anymore. 

So, that worked out to 64 reps of each movement, 128 reps in roughly 15 minutes.  That certainly qualifies as good work in a limited amount of time in my book!