Sunday, April 14, 2013

Because I can't always use gun fire at what irritates me: Shooting My Mouth Off III

So, the kid's asleep, the wife went shopping, and I've decided to end my month-long blog drought by crawiling out from underneath the rock that I've been hiding underneath...and do another of my bitch-and moan entries...

-Stop with the biceps pics!  For over 40 years we've been subjected to zombie-like hoards of meatheads trying desperately trying to get Arnold's biceps and documenting every step of the way with pics. The trend has only gotten worse with the advent of cell phones with cameras. Now, every bathroom with a mirror has turned into a posing stage for men desperately trying to out-douchebag the ultimate douchebag  . Didn't we used to use bathooms to take a shit?
So true...

-ESPN 99 must have run clean out re-runs of World's Strongest Man, World Series of Poker and dogdeball tournaments. So, they Show the Crossfit Games. My exposure to Crossfit was marginal up until I saw it at a bar in Massachusetts and now I think I get it. Crossfit is what you when you do a lot of really good exercises with extremely shitty form as fast as possible... and pay too much money per month to someone to "teach" you how to do this.

There really isn't much to farmers walking to screw up and yet CF finds a way...

-Can we replace "functional" with practical?

-Which exercise releases growth hormone naturally? Please don't bombard me with answers. I won't believe them anyway, even if you have a scientific study from the University of Bangledesh that says you're right. If HGH is something that helps you recover from intense exercise, keeps you young, and repairs your cells, then I'd bet HUGE money that the answer is actually... SLEEP!

-If you think women with muscle definition look like men, then you probably don't look much like a man yourself.

-This shit's getting out of hand! If you're posting pics of yourself working out, wear a pair of pants that don't show off your package! 

-Why is it so incomprehensibly hard for some fools to pick out workout music?   Why do you need to ask for suggestions from everyone else?  This is about as difficult as masturbation material on the internet:  find something that arouses you and get to work!   It doesn't matter if it's death metal, classical music, movie soundtracks or gay nightclub fare.  It it accentuates your desire to move with intensity, then it's good workout music!

Okay, now that I've got that off my chest, I'll get back to writing something memorable.  In the meantime, feel free to spout off about the things in our sub-culture that really annoy you too!

This guy never gets old!


Anonymous said...

Welcome back.

Tom Moeller said...

You have too much time on someone elses hands...

Spot on, oh spewmeister.